California Dog Eats Baby Whole

Dog Okay, Report Concerned Parents

-Hollywood Hills, California (Rueters)

Early Saturday morning, a German Shepherd belonging to Norm and Frieda Lay of Hollywood Hills, California, ate the couple’s nine month old son, Chip, apparently swallowing the infant whole.

Initial reports filed with the Los Angeles Police Department indicate the incident occurred between 3 and 6 a.m. Saturday morning, when the dog, affectionately called “Gerbils” by the Lays, managed to jump into the child’s crib. The dog then ate the child whole, as x-rays have since confirmed.

After a brief visit to a local veterinarian, Gerbils was pronounced healthy, and the Lays urged to allow the dog to rest for a few days before resuming his normal activities.

When called for comments, the obviously distraught Frieda Lay had the following to say:

“We cannot begin to express how concerned we were when found Gerbils in the baby’s crib, and saw that the baby was missing. Our first thought was, ‘Oh my God, Gerbils ate the baby. Is Gerbils going to be okay? Is he going to get sick?’ But the doctors have informed us that, thanks to some miracle of God, Gerbils should be up and about in no time.”

Added Lay, “We can always have another child, but nothing can replace that dog. Nothing.”

This incident is the most recent in a long line of similar episodes between dogs and children. Just last month, a pit bull attacked eight ten year olds at a birthday party outside of Des Moines, Iowa. And while four of the children died, two entered a coma, and two required amputations, the dog was uninjured and released by the veterinarian after a few days of observation.

According to Dr. Gary Horvath, Dean of the University of Pennsylvania School of Veterinary Medicine, it is always essential to pay careful attention to the dog’s health after a child-consuming event.

“Dogs are very sensitive to what kind of flesh they consume, and the fact is that they are particularly sensitive to that of human children. Any time a dog manages to attack or eat a child and survive the incident—as in this case—it is certainly an extraordinary occurrence. We should all be counting our blessings.”