Ford Announces Foray into Minicar Market with New “Faggotmobile”
-Dearborn, Michigan (AIP)
Struggling automaker Ford announced Friday its entry into the minicar market with the unveiling of the 2011 Ford Faggotmobile. The announcement comes on the heels of Ford’s promise earlier last week to move towards producing more efficient, environmentally-friendly vehicles.
According to Ford President and CEO Alan Mulally, “The new Faggotmobile represents a huge leap forward in our goal to manufacture a greener car. The Faggotmobile will tap into markets we’ve previously ignored or alienated.”
When asked why, after so many years, Ford has finally begun in earnest producing economical, low-emissions vehicles, Mulally was straightforward.
“Our large trucks and SUVs have been catering to a masculine, middle-American demographic that doesn’t give a crap about gas emissions, the environment, and money spent on gasoline. But with the new Faggotmobile, we hope to reach out to vegans, tree-huggers, Naderites, and queers—in short, the annoyingly-vocal minorities that increasingly have been dictating American public policy. It’s our way to make sure we can get money from the damn Obama Administration to salvage our goddamn company.”
According to Mulally, the Faggotmobile will vaguely resemble a Smart Car, and will be available in a two-door model and a three-door hatchback designed specifically for lesbians. It will seat two and will boast a fuel economy rating of approximately 60 miles per gallon. Options will include flower decals on the exterior, copies of Unsafe at Any Speed in the glove compartment, and official Starbucks cupholders.
The Faggotmobile, which will go on sale in the first quarter of 2010, will debut at a suggested retail price of 7,995 USD.
